Yoo's Convenience Store 1

This is one of those ultra tiny bodegas. One where you're just like, "how the hell is this busted little beer closet even in business?" It defies reason and logic. But I'd bet that Yoo's is not just IN business - they're probably killin' it. Why? Because they're structured like a bodega swiss army knife. They're small as hell, but they have like four or five really fucking useful functions. They sell beer, smokes, lottery tickets, honey buns and they have an ATM in the back. They don't mess with the flowers. They don't have cans of tomato paste or produce. These guys cut to the fucking chase. And that's why we always go back. They're like a Kia - no frills, just an engine and some wheels. And that is why Koreans will one day own all of our asses.

RATING:
1. Smell? Dusty.
2. Booze? A few domestic and import options. Enough to keep you happy.
3. Random Cat? Nah.
4. Weirdest Item? A bag of corn nuts that looked prehistoric.
5. Nationality? I'm guessing Korean.
6. Can I get a sandwich? Sorta. They have pre-made bagel sandwiches with butter.
7. Is something Illegal Happening Here? They're clean.
8. ATM Fee? $1.75
9. EV Special? (Natural Spirits + Snobby Beer + Something Vegan) Oddly, yeah. I think they got it.

ADDRESS:
52 2nd Ave.
NYC, NY 10003

NY Village Deli

This was another spot I loved when I lived over here. It's staffed by decent dudes who always have that, "this is sorta shitty but it could be way worse" type of look. Like sorta happy, but if you asked them if it was going to rain, they'd always tell you, "probably" even if it was 90 degrees in the shade. Anyway. This place is pretty well stocked on decent (or cheap, depending on your budget, agenda or state of inebriation) beer and a host of snack foods. They have sandwiches and the assorted salads you'd expect to find in a deli. Dried out chicken patties, cole slaw and some pasta salad type thing that you never see anyone buying but it always looks like you could probably eat it in a bind. Or if you were zombie drunk and the pizza place next door wasn't open.

RATING:
1. Smell? Chips. Coffee, too. It's a big bodega so it varies depending on where you stand.
2. Booze? Pretty healthy selection of beers. Cheap domestic tall boys and import bottles and cans.
3. Random Cat? Hell, yeah. And he didn't give a fuck about you or anyone else. This cat was his own boss.
4. Weirdest Item? Empress Jack Mackerel (cans)
5. Nationality? I want to say Arabic was the language being spoken. I could be wrong.
6. Can I get a sandwich? Correct. The sign says "fine delicatessen" and I'm not going to argue.
7. Is something Illegal Happening Here? Possibly. But not the guys who work here. There's something heinous going on in the cabbie bathroom which may or may not be illegal in New York state.
8. ATM Fee? $1.75
9. EV Special? (Natural Spirits + Snobby Beer + Something Vegan) Is coffee vegan? If so, then maybe.

ADDRESS:
39 1st Ave.
NYC, NY 10003

Pak Punjab

The oldest trick in the bodega handbook is putting the word "new" on the shingle hanging over the door. I guess they think we're a truly gullible lot and those three little letters subtly inserted into a sign are going to make 15 years of fossilized coffee spills and cracked linoleum invisible. "Fuck that broken window, the sign SAYS it's NEW!" Anyway, Pak Punjab gets a pass because this place is sorta legendary in some circles. I've read about David Cross swinging by to pick up tasty treats and some fiction book I read once actually took a non-fiction turn in its description of E. 3rd's primo cabbie hang out. It's small and typically crowded with a diverse assortment of yellow cab kamikazes and general weirdos, but they get top marks for being friendly and chock full of weird shit I'm pretty sure you can probably only find there.

RATING:
1. Smell? Spicy. Spices. A little musty, but mostly exotic spices.
2. Booze? Nope.
3. Random Cat? Nope.
4. Weirdest Item? Krazy 4 VHS tapes (there were other descriptors in a foreign language)
5. Nationality? Pakistan, duh.
6. Can I get a sandwich? Nope but their Paki delights are primo. Spicy fish, chicken chappli, etc.
7. Is something Illegal Happening Here? The guy behind the counter has a headset so I'm guessing there's a distinct possibility illicit stuff happens from time to time.
8. ATM Fee? $1.75
9. EV Special? (Natural Spirits + Snobby Beer + Something Vegan) Nope.

ADDRESS:
50 2nd Ave.
NYC, NY 10003

Yem Yem Falafel

When I lived over here it was called Deli Candy Grocery or some random combination of mundane words like that, but when I stopped by on Halloween night, I was surprised to see it had been totally overhauled. Emerging from the shitty ashes of what was previously a spot only good for Bud Ice in stray single bottles and six-year-old Soft Batch is the more blatantly ethnic Yem Yem Falafel. I'm sure the thinking was that yuppie East Village fuckers love diversity. Smart tactic. As far as the setup is concerned, the devil is in the details with Yem Yem - some decent light fixtures, well-lit deli case and solid floral department were the lipstick on this pig. Make no mistake, Yem Yem is little more than an average bodega. But the difference is that the dudes running this show are still too new to the game to have totally given up hope. Yem Yem is riding that new business buzz, metaphorically high-fiving the American dream and showing the hood they're the new big swinging dicks of the EV bodega scene.

RATING:
1. Smell? Fried chicken. No doubt about it. But I'm guessing that's the falafel frying ...
2. Booze? Nope.
3. Random Cat? Nope.
4. Weirdest Item? Tukas Pepper Paste (not really THAT weird)
5. Nationality? Yemen, duh.
6. Can I get a sandwich? Hell yeah. Boar's Head, bitch. Falafel, too.
7. Is something Illegal Happening Here? They look clean.
8. ATM Fee? $1.75
9. EV Special? (Natural Spirits + Snobby Beer + Something Vegan) Nope.

ADDRESS:
53 2nd Ave.
NYC, NY 10003